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Monday, March 28, 2005
i heart long weekends
or
why superheroes should carry digital cameras
*warning: picture heavy entry*
[so instead of making the apple crisp for tmrw's potluck, i'm procrastinating and writing up events of the weekend so far as I don't think i'll have the time (re:patience) later on this week. i realize i'm making life extremely difficult for myself. i know this.]
There are some things that remain sacred, from dawn to dusk, from dust to dust. And as the city gathered to celebrate and remember the events of Easter, events ocurring an age ago, the citizens of Tortham settled into their humble abodes, readying themselves for the weekend, secure in the knowledge that all was right and well with their world...
or was it?
Dawn rose on Tortham as usual, the sun illuminating a beautiful and brilliant skyline...
However something was amiss!
Part of Tortham's beloved BB sign had been stolen!!! Alarms rang, panic swept through Parliament. The pressure was on...The Mayor knew there was only one thing to do:
there was noooo-oooobody else he could count on in a situation like this...
*****
While on the other side of the city...
On any given beautiful spring morning one can always find long time Tortham resident Kevvy Kev eschewing the a pedestrian lifestyle (as well as the public transit system!) in favour of zooming up and down the highways criss-crossing Tortham. to the average schmoe, Kevvy Kev appeared to be just another boy with a zoom-zoom wishes, longing to take flight and live out superhero dreams.
But nothing is always as it seems...
This particular beautiful spring morning, Kevvy Kev happened to be out and about with two friends, Mishy Miche and Le'Nay Nay.
Suddenly...
From the sky...
There was a call!
Le'Nay Nay used her tremendous speed and reached the shrill telephone first.
"Le'Nay Nay, I need to speak with Kevvy Kev...something horrible has happened," said the Mayor.
Kevvy Kev quickly rushed over to find out what had happened. Le'Nay Nay was thrilled Kevvy Kev was at her side, ready to take the phone away from her obviously distressed person.
After hanging up, Kevvy Kev's face was creased in grim determination. "Guys... something awful has transpired. Part of the BB sign has been...has been..." He stifled a sob. "...has been STOLEN!"
Mishy Miche screamed in agony!
"Nooo!! This can't be happening! I refuse to believe that!! I'd rather eat chicken McNuggets than let this be true!"
Kevvy Kev was on the brink of tears. What was he to do? Who could he turn to in this dark dark time? There was only one answer...He needed to speak to Reuben, his mentor, his guide, his sempai, his voice of reason.
Alas, Reuben was out getting his bellybutton lint analyzed, and in his stead left Bob, the Floating Genie.
Bob managed to put smiles back on the faces of the three companeros, using wise words from Chicken Soup for the Superhero Soul...for yes dear reader, the three you have just met are in fact are not the average Torthamians that they appear! They are in fact...
The Tremendously Above-Average Torthamian Trio!
Introducing (from L-R) The Proofer! Able to edit and reassemble villanous statements of intent into harmless sonnets at the speed of sound!
The fearless leader, Metro Man! Able to leap over fashion disasters in a single bound! Faster than a speeding bullet when queueing for free hair products! Nerves of steel employed during visits to the esthetician!
and finally, The Knitting Knave! Trained in the deadly arts of Knitting Needle-won Do Jitsu, and can knit protective forcefields in the blink of an eye!
What will the TAATT do in the face of such danger?
Stay tuned, same TAATT time, same TAATT channel!
(gotta go, fuyu no sonata is ON)
or
why superheroes should carry digital cameras
*warning: picture heavy entry*
[so instead of making the apple crisp for tmrw's potluck, i'm procrastinating and writing up events of the weekend so far as I don't think i'll have the time (re:patience) later on this week. i realize i'm making life extremely difficult for myself. i know this.]
There are some things that remain sacred, from dawn to dusk, from dust to dust. And as the city gathered to celebrate and remember the events of Easter, events ocurring an age ago, the citizens of Tortham settled into their humble abodes, readying themselves for the weekend, secure in the knowledge that all was right and well with their world...
or was it?
Dawn rose on Tortham as usual, the sun illuminating a beautiful and brilliant skyline...
However something was amiss!
Part of Tortham's beloved BB sign had been stolen!!! Alarms rang, panic swept through Parliament. The pressure was on...The Mayor knew there was only one thing to do:
there was noooo-oooobody else he could count on in a situation like this...
*****
While on the other side of the city...
On any given beautiful spring morning one can always find long time Tortham resident Kevvy Kev eschewing the a pedestrian lifestyle (as well as the public transit system!) in favour of zooming up and down the highways criss-crossing Tortham. to the average schmoe, Kevvy Kev appeared to be just another boy with a zoom-zoom wishes, longing to take flight and live out superhero dreams.
But nothing is always as it seems...
This particular beautiful spring morning, Kevvy Kev happened to be out and about with two friends, Mishy Miche and Le'Nay Nay.
Suddenly...
From the sky...
There was a call!
Le'Nay Nay used her tremendous speed and reached the shrill telephone first.
"Le'Nay Nay, I need to speak with Kevvy Kev...something horrible has happened," said the Mayor.
Kevvy Kev quickly rushed over to find out what had happened. Le'Nay Nay was thrilled Kevvy Kev was at her side, ready to take the phone away from her obviously distressed person.
After hanging up, Kevvy Kev's face was creased in grim determination. "Guys... something awful has transpired. Part of the BB sign has been...has been..." He stifled a sob. "...has been STOLEN!"
Mishy Miche screamed in agony!
"Nooo!! This can't be happening! I refuse to believe that!! I'd rather eat chicken McNuggets than let this be true!"
Kevvy Kev was on the brink of tears. What was he to do? Who could he turn to in this dark dark time? There was only one answer...He needed to speak to Reuben, his mentor, his guide, his sempai, his voice of reason.
Alas, Reuben was out getting his bellybutton lint analyzed, and in his stead left Bob, the Floating Genie.
Bob managed to put smiles back on the faces of the three companeros, using wise words from Chicken Soup for the Superhero Soul...for yes dear reader, the three you have just met are in fact are not the average Torthamians that they appear! They are in fact...
The Tremendously Above-Average Torthamian Trio!
Introducing (from L-R) The Proofer! Able to edit and reassemble villanous statements of intent into harmless sonnets at the speed of sound!
The fearless leader, Metro Man! Able to leap over fashion disasters in a single bound! Faster than a speeding bullet when queueing for free hair products! Nerves of steel employed during visits to the esthetician!
and finally, The Knitting Knave! Trained in the deadly arts of Knitting Needle-won Do Jitsu, and can knit protective forcefields in the blink of an eye!
What will the TAATT do in the face of such danger?
Stay tuned, same TAATT time, same TAATT channel!
(gotta go, fuyu no sonata is ON)
Everyone needs a hero...
or
Metro Man's Deep Thoughts
Part II
When we last left you, the TAATT had just been informed that their beloved Tortham was in trouble. Immediately, they sprang into Crisis Mode and began formulating a plan.
"Hmm...." The Knitting Knave was in deep thought.
"I know! I can knit a tracking device that will lead us to the missing Letter! And then for fun I'll purl a logo with two crossed knitting needles on it, just in case someone tries to steal my design!" cried the Knitting Knave excitedly.
Metro Man was slightly stunned at the suggestion, and decided to veto the idea after he digested the information.
"Oh! I've got an idea!" yelled The Proofer enthusiastically.
"Let's head down to the crime scene, and try to track down the Letter, just in case it's still on the premises!" Metro Man thought about her suggestion for a second.
"Well?? Metro Man? What do you think?" his sidekicks asked persistently. Metro Man quickly snapped out his reverie (as he was fixated on the sight of a stray eyebrow hair) and promptly agreed to The Proofer's plan. "Let's go team. Be ready for anything... it may get ugly. IKUZOU!"
For the rest of the drive, the TAATT were quiet, each wrapped up in their own thoughts, some nervously anticipating the obstacles facing them... others...well, let's just we can guess what Metro Man's internal monologue would be like.
The TAATT soon arrived at the crime scene. Painful as it was, the trio thorougly investigated the site in a professional and mature manner.
It was worse than they had imagined. Tortham's beloved BB sign was missing its other B!!!! The sign, which held such emotional significance as it was the only public structure to survive the Yak Raidings of '88 and '93 as well as the Gecko coup d'etat in the summer of '97, was now horribly disfigured. The Knitting Knave almost internally combusted, while Metro Man reined in his emotions and tried to remain stoic for the others.
They then stealthily made their way past the heavy security using tactics learned under Reuben's reign, a historic era in Torthan's history, as it was founded on the first ever ninjaistic democracy. To be honest, their first attempt was less than successful as The Proofer was distracted by the shiny and colourful booby traps placed near the entrance. However, Metro Man consoled her forlorn self, assuring her that TAATT would stick together no matter what and help her get by the armed forces.
At last, the trio stood side by side at the gaping entrance of the bustling underground cavern, where they were certain the Letter was being held. They knew once they found the Letter, they would also find the key to the peace of Tortham. What was next for the TAATT? How would they find what they were so desperately searching for?
And more importantly...
Would they survive?...
or
Metro Man's Deep Thoughts
Part II
When we last left you, the TAATT had just been informed that their beloved Tortham was in trouble. Immediately, they sprang into Crisis Mode and began formulating a plan.
"Hmm...." The Knitting Knave was in deep thought.
"I know! I can knit a tracking device that will lead us to the missing Letter! And then for fun I'll purl a logo with two crossed knitting needles on it, just in case someone tries to steal my design!" cried the Knitting Knave excitedly.
Metro Man was slightly stunned at the suggestion, and decided to veto the idea after he digested the information.
"Oh! I've got an idea!" yelled The Proofer enthusiastically.
"Let's head down to the crime scene, and try to track down the Letter, just in case it's still on the premises!" Metro Man thought about her suggestion for a second.
"Well?? Metro Man? What do you think?" his sidekicks asked persistently. Metro Man quickly snapped out his reverie (as he was fixated on the sight of a stray eyebrow hair) and promptly agreed to The Proofer's plan. "Let's go team. Be ready for anything... it may get ugly. IKUZOU!"
For the rest of the drive, the TAATT were quiet, each wrapped up in their own thoughts, some nervously anticipating the obstacles facing them... others...well, let's just we can guess what Metro Man's internal monologue would be like.
The TAATT soon arrived at the crime scene. Painful as it was, the trio thorougly investigated the site in a professional and mature manner.
It was worse than they had imagined. Tortham's beloved BB sign was missing its other B!!!! The sign, which held such emotional significance as it was the only public structure to survive the Yak Raidings of '88 and '93 as well as the Gecko coup d'etat in the summer of '97, was now horribly disfigured. The Knitting Knave almost internally combusted, while Metro Man reined in his emotions and tried to remain stoic for the others.
They then stealthily made their way past the heavy security using tactics learned under Reuben's reign, a historic era in Torthan's history, as it was founded on the first ever ninjaistic democracy. To be honest, their first attempt was less than successful as The Proofer was distracted by the shiny and colourful booby traps placed near the entrance. However, Metro Man consoled her forlorn self, assuring her that TAATT would stick together no matter what and help her get by the armed forces.
At last, the trio stood side by side at the gaping entrance of the bustling underground cavern, where they were certain the Letter was being held. They knew once they found the Letter, they would also find the key to the peace of Tortham. What was next for the TAATT? How would they find what they were so desperately searching for?
And more importantly...
Would they survive?...
Sunday, March 27, 2005
time flies when you're having fun
or
Metro Man Doesn't Like Costumes
Part III
When we last left our intrepid heroes, they were readying themselves for the battle ahead. However a big question loomed before them: Who were the heartless heavies behind such villainy?
"We need to be prepared for the enemy to be anything and anyone," Metro Man said authoritatively. "Whoever it is... whatever it is... is still here. I can feel it." He pushed back the cuffs of his regularly priced DJ Honda jacket (Metro Man had saved the beloved DJ's life one night in Bangkok) and showed the others his perfectly aligned goosebumps. The others nodded grimly, knowing that Metro Sense was not to be doubted. Many a fashion disaster had been averted due to it. Though try as she might, the Knitting Knave became distracted by an overpowering scent. "Smells good guys... smells like Candy Apples!!" She grinned widely, spotting a large display of suspiciously large yet enticing candy apples.
Metro Man was perturbed. Candy apples...candy apples...there was something unsettling about the overtly eye-catching sweets...The Knitting Knave and The Proofer were about to bite into a particularly delectable chocolate-swirled selection when suddenly Metro Man remembered something! "Stop!" he cried! "Candy apples are the trademark weapons of none other than..." His words trailed off as he spotted a sinister shape out of the corner of his colour-contacted eye.
Of course! It was Pirate! That dastardly high seas confectioner cousin of Captain Jack Sparrow!
The Proofer was frozen with fear, dropping the candy apple to the floor, mouth agape at the memory of the Apple Melee of '83 that took so many apples before their prime. She shuddered remembering the bruising and the decay. She was brought out of her ruminations abruptly as Metro Man whispered sharply, "Something is wrong with the Knitting Knave!"
As the Proofer looked up swiftly, she saw her companero, the Knitting Knave rooted to the ground, regressing to her defense mechanism-imitating famous works of art-which emerged only when she was thoroughly frightened. Metro Man squinted. Oh no...the Knave was doing an impression of... Munsch's "The Scream" This could not be good. Two pairs of eyes swung to the right and their hearts stilled.
Pirate was in cahoots with Hat Man!
Their nerves frayed, the trio regrouped in a corner, wracking their brains for a plan that would best the dastardly duo. How could this be?! Pirate and Hat Man...together! Then, just in the nick of time, a welcome sight floated down in front of the trio...
It was Metroina, Metro Man's personal helper (who was secretly in love with him, but had the unfortunate penchant for mixing sequins and pearls, and thus any possible future with Metro Man was rendered impossible). "Sweet trio, have no fear. The fairy overworld has come to your aid as soon as we heard of what Pirate and Hat Man did to Tortham. The only way you can beat them is to disguise yourselves and slink around like you have never slunk before!" Metroina said emphatically. "Follow me and I shall take you to the creche of costumes." Relieved, the Knitting Knave and The Proofer, turned to follow Metroina. However, Metro Man balked at the idea, certain any further accessorizing would disrupt his current outfit scheme. So he decided to seek out and rescue a damsel in distress and meet up with his sidekicks later.
A superhero's work is never done.
Metroina led Metro Man's sidekicks to the hidden creche. It was quite an overwhelming experience as few mortals ever have the privilege of seeing such a one-of-a-kind place. The entrance to the cavern where the creche was hidden was guarded by fierce creatues that growled and squeaked incessantly.
Then they had to navigate through the treacherous Pathway of Pouf. Many a teenybopper had succummed to the poufy pink distractions with tragic results.
Finally, the cavern opened up, and there lay the creche, fierce costumes glittering despite the dim light, waiting to be used in the battle against Letter stealing. The Knitting Knave and The Proofer rushed the creche, and immediately began trying on costumes. However, their choices did not seem capable in striking fear in a puppy, let alone seasoned villains like Pirate and Hat Man:
What a deathly beautiful bag, but alas, one accessory would not cut it.
this would only be effective against Pirate, leaving the Knave vulnerable to Hat Man.
This would scare both villains, but Metro Man would most definitely veto it due to the colour combination. Something about it the combination evoking arachnid overtones. Desperate to find something, the two pulled on masks from the ancient Disney tribe, hoping they would be effective in scaring their enemies.
The Knitting Knave and the Proofer were disheartened. There was nothing in the creche! The Proofer was especially disappointed as the mask she thought would transform her into a fierce Proofer, ended up making her looking like a 7-year-old boy.
What now?
How could they possibly win after such a let-down?
Stay tuned, same TAATT time, same TAATT blog!
all good things have to come to an end
or
Metro Man Has His Day
Part IV (the last installment!! finally!)
When we last left our heroes, the Knitting Knave and The Proofer had met up with Metroina, a love-struck fairy who tried to outfit the two in proper battle gear, but with little success...
Discouraged by their inability to outfit themselves properly, despite hours of tuition on the Art of Superhero Fashion by Metro Man, the Knitting Knave and The Proofer were understandably upset. Once again, Metroina came to their rescue. She quickly sprinkled them with B.L.E.S.S.E.D (Boom! Look Everyone Suspects Something Else Dere) powder, and gave them a pinch extra for Metro Man. This powder would enable the wearer to appear as any object they wished to imitate. Grateful, the two ran from the creche and met up with Metro Man, who looked like he had managed to slip in a quick bronzing after rescuing his damsel. Oh Metro Man, you are indeed a wonder!
The TAATT decided to scour the premises for the beloved Letter, careful to avoid Pirate and Hat Man, and whatever other nasty surprises were in store for them. Our trio slinked and slunked expertly, careful to avoid the booby traps Pirate and Hat Man so cleverly set out for them.
Ducking into a forest of mangroves, TAATT was able to avoid the dull stare of Hat Man's Model mercenaries. If one had the unfortunate luck to lock eyes with the mercenaries, they would instantly be transformed into long-legged plastic statues. Despite the cover found in the mangroves, TAATT had to fend off several species of wildlife while in there, including the rumoured-to-be-extinct pot-bellied Ottoman Pig, a vicious breed of cochon who were first used as guard pigs during the Ottoman Empire.
Suddenly, Metro Man stopped in his tracks. His heart swelled with joy. High above them, hung the missing Letter!!
The Knitting Knave nearly shouted in joy, and The Proofer hopped in circles happily. But Metro Man arched a neatly plucked eyebrow. Finding the Letter was too easy... something was up. Aha! Metro Man spotted Pirate nearby, and knew if they weren't careful, it could be the beginning of an epic battle.
Unselfishly, the Knitting Knave and The Proofer transformed themselves into pirates which allowed Metro Man to slink by unnoticed.
Metro Man now had a better vantage point from which to plot out the exact path to their beloved Letter. The trio were about to begin slinking by when Metro Man spotted Pirate approaching! Thinking quickly, he commanded everyone to make like ice sculptures and freeze.
It worked! Pirate walked by them, oblivious that his dastardly plot to wreak havoc on Tortham would be foiled in a matter of minutes. From that point on, it was clear sailing. The three jumped into the churning Dawn River and swam to the north shore where the Letter was waiting...
Throwing themselves on the sandy bank, they struggled to summon up one more ounce of strength...so close... Unfortunately, the Knitting Knave and Proofer's reserves were quite depleted, and both passed out. It was up to Metro Man. It was moments like these that separated the super from the not-so-super, and like any superhero would, Metro Man rose to the challenge. Gritting his teeth, Metro Man began reaching high high high above himself, feeling like body and spirit were finally one...his hands drawing closer and closer to the Letter...would he be the one to save Tortham??
*****
The Knitting Knave and the Proofer awoke several hours later, and their eyes opened to a glorious sight. Beaming down, properly exfoliated cheeks glowing with triumph, was their leader, Metro Man....and the Letter!!!
The Knitting Knave and the Proofer turned to each other and smiled. They should've known. A mission with Metro Man is a mission complete. The trio linked arms and walked out of the cavern into a glorious sunset. Tortham would never know how close it was to complete anarchy-all in a day's work for The Tremendously Above-Average Torthamian Trio!!!
The End
*hopefullynometrosexualegosweredamagedintheprocess.kevyou'refun!*
or
Metro Man Doesn't Like Costumes
Part III
When we last left our intrepid heroes, they were readying themselves for the battle ahead. However a big question loomed before them: Who were the heartless heavies behind such villainy?
"We need to be prepared for the enemy to be anything and anyone," Metro Man said authoritatively. "Whoever it is... whatever it is... is still here. I can feel it." He pushed back the cuffs of his regularly priced DJ Honda jacket (Metro Man had saved the beloved DJ's life one night in Bangkok) and showed the others his perfectly aligned goosebumps. The others nodded grimly, knowing that Metro Sense was not to be doubted. Many a fashion disaster had been averted due to it. Though try as she might, the Knitting Knave became distracted by an overpowering scent. "Smells good guys... smells like Candy Apples!!" She grinned widely, spotting a large display of suspiciously large yet enticing candy apples.
Metro Man was perturbed. Candy apples...candy apples...there was something unsettling about the overtly eye-catching sweets...The Knitting Knave and The Proofer were about to bite into a particularly delectable chocolate-swirled selection when suddenly Metro Man remembered something! "Stop!" he cried! "Candy apples are the trademark weapons of none other than..." His words trailed off as he spotted a sinister shape out of the corner of his colour-contacted eye.
Of course! It was Pirate! That dastardly high seas confectioner cousin of Captain Jack Sparrow!
The Proofer was frozen with fear, dropping the candy apple to the floor, mouth agape at the memory of the Apple Melee of '83 that took so many apples before their prime. She shuddered remembering the bruising and the decay. She was brought out of her ruminations abruptly as Metro Man whispered sharply, "Something is wrong with the Knitting Knave!"
As the Proofer looked up swiftly, she saw her companero, the Knitting Knave rooted to the ground, regressing to her defense mechanism-imitating famous works of art-which emerged only when she was thoroughly frightened. Metro Man squinted. Oh no...the Knave was doing an impression of... Munsch's "The Scream" This could not be good. Two pairs of eyes swung to the right and their hearts stilled.
Pirate was in cahoots with Hat Man!
Their nerves frayed, the trio regrouped in a corner, wracking their brains for a plan that would best the dastardly duo. How could this be?! Pirate and Hat Man...together! Then, just in the nick of time, a welcome sight floated down in front of the trio...
It was Metroina, Metro Man's personal helper (who was secretly in love with him, but had the unfortunate penchant for mixing sequins and pearls, and thus any possible future with Metro Man was rendered impossible). "Sweet trio, have no fear. The fairy overworld has come to your aid as soon as we heard of what Pirate and Hat Man did to Tortham. The only way you can beat them is to disguise yourselves and slink around like you have never slunk before!" Metroina said emphatically. "Follow me and I shall take you to the creche of costumes." Relieved, the Knitting Knave and The Proofer, turned to follow Metroina. However, Metro Man balked at the idea, certain any further accessorizing would disrupt his current outfit scheme. So he decided to seek out and rescue a damsel in distress and meet up with his sidekicks later.
A superhero's work is never done.
Metroina led Metro Man's sidekicks to the hidden creche. It was quite an overwhelming experience as few mortals ever have the privilege of seeing such a one-of-a-kind place. The entrance to the cavern where the creche was hidden was guarded by fierce creatues that growled and squeaked incessantly.
Then they had to navigate through the treacherous Pathway of Pouf. Many a teenybopper had succummed to the poufy pink distractions with tragic results.
Finally, the cavern opened up, and there lay the creche, fierce costumes glittering despite the dim light, waiting to be used in the battle against Letter stealing. The Knitting Knave and The Proofer rushed the creche, and immediately began trying on costumes. However, their choices did not seem capable in striking fear in a puppy, let alone seasoned villains like Pirate and Hat Man:
What a deathly beautiful bag, but alas, one accessory would not cut it.
this would only be effective against Pirate, leaving the Knave vulnerable to Hat Man.
This would scare both villains, but Metro Man would most definitely veto it due to the colour combination. Something about it the combination evoking arachnid overtones. Desperate to find something, the two pulled on masks from the ancient Disney tribe, hoping they would be effective in scaring their enemies.
The Knitting Knave and the Proofer were disheartened. There was nothing in the creche! The Proofer was especially disappointed as the mask she thought would transform her into a fierce Proofer, ended up making her looking like a 7-year-old boy.
What now?
How could they possibly win after such a let-down?
Stay tuned, same TAATT time, same TAATT blog!
all good things have to come to an end
or
Metro Man Has His Day
Part IV (the last installment!! finally!)
When we last left our heroes, the Knitting Knave and The Proofer had met up with Metroina, a love-struck fairy who tried to outfit the two in proper battle gear, but with little success...
Discouraged by their inability to outfit themselves properly, despite hours of tuition on the Art of Superhero Fashion by Metro Man, the Knitting Knave and The Proofer were understandably upset. Once again, Metroina came to their rescue. She quickly sprinkled them with B.L.E.S.S.E.D (Boom! Look Everyone Suspects Something Else Dere) powder, and gave them a pinch extra for Metro Man. This powder would enable the wearer to appear as any object they wished to imitate. Grateful, the two ran from the creche and met up with Metro Man, who looked like he had managed to slip in a quick bronzing after rescuing his damsel. Oh Metro Man, you are indeed a wonder!
The TAATT decided to scour the premises for the beloved Letter, careful to avoid Pirate and Hat Man, and whatever other nasty surprises were in store for them. Our trio slinked and slunked expertly, careful to avoid the booby traps Pirate and Hat Man so cleverly set out for them.
Ducking into a forest of mangroves, TAATT was able to avoid the dull stare of Hat Man's Model mercenaries. If one had the unfortunate luck to lock eyes with the mercenaries, they would instantly be transformed into long-legged plastic statues. Despite the cover found in the mangroves, TAATT had to fend off several species of wildlife while in there, including the rumoured-to-be-extinct pot-bellied Ottoman Pig, a vicious breed of cochon who were first used as guard pigs during the Ottoman Empire.
Suddenly, Metro Man stopped in his tracks. His heart swelled with joy. High above them, hung the missing Letter!!
The Knitting Knave nearly shouted in joy, and The Proofer hopped in circles happily. But Metro Man arched a neatly plucked eyebrow. Finding the Letter was too easy... something was up. Aha! Metro Man spotted Pirate nearby, and knew if they weren't careful, it could be the beginning of an epic battle.
Unselfishly, the Knitting Knave and The Proofer transformed themselves into pirates which allowed Metro Man to slink by unnoticed.
Metro Man now had a better vantage point from which to plot out the exact path to their beloved Letter. The trio were about to begin slinking by when Metro Man spotted Pirate approaching! Thinking quickly, he commanded everyone to make like ice sculptures and freeze.
It worked! Pirate walked by them, oblivious that his dastardly plot to wreak havoc on Tortham would be foiled in a matter of minutes. From that point on, it was clear sailing. The three jumped into the churning Dawn River and swam to the north shore where the Letter was waiting...
Throwing themselves on the sandy bank, they struggled to summon up one more ounce of strength...so close... Unfortunately, the Knitting Knave and Proofer's reserves were quite depleted, and both passed out. It was up to Metro Man. It was moments like these that separated the super from the not-so-super, and like any superhero would, Metro Man rose to the challenge. Gritting his teeth, Metro Man began reaching high high high above himself, feeling like body and spirit were finally one...his hands drawing closer and closer to the Letter...would he be the one to save Tortham??
*****
The Knitting Knave and the Proofer awoke several hours later, and their eyes opened to a glorious sight. Beaming down, properly exfoliated cheeks glowing with triumph, was their leader, Metro Man....and the Letter!!!
The Knitting Knave and the Proofer turned to each other and smiled. They should've known. A mission with Metro Man is a mission complete. The trio linked arms and walked out of the cavern into a glorious sunset. Tortham would never know how close it was to complete anarchy-all in a day's work for The Tremendously Above-Average Torthamian Trio!!!
The End
*hopefullynometrosexualegosweredamagedintheprocess.kevyou'refun!*
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
tanoshimi!
1. Easter long weekend! = 4-day work weeeeek! and Good Friday will be a good Friday... service dtown, followed by Photo Day, Ka Chi and Ron Josol
2. One-of-a-Kind Craft show on Sat! Michelle i'm so excited! Sheery was telling me about this stainless steel sieve/trivet contraption she found there last year.... it sounded quite bizarre but makes me tingly with anticipation that I too could find a possibly useless but fascinating home decor item like that! hahahah. i hope kevin doesn't think we're trying to emasculate him (further) by inviting him to come with us. heeheeee... Craft Show with Metro Man! stay tuned, same Metro time, same Metro blog for updates =)
3. Does anyone have any suggestions for a softball team name/logo? We're fielding a Seniors team this year! (The Juniors are called the Judges)
4. Running Room clinic starts in exactly one week...aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!
5. Happy Birthday MYM you old fogey, let's eat!
6. after failing to ask LinWay (hi!) to bring me j-dramas, i may have found another toronto-bound source to satisfy my cheesy j-drama romance quota! Onegai!
1. Easter long weekend! = 4-day work weeeeek! and Good Friday will be a good Friday... service dtown, followed by Photo Day, Ka Chi and Ron Josol
2. One-of-a-Kind Craft show on Sat! Michelle i'm so excited! Sheery was telling me about this stainless steel sieve/trivet contraption she found there last year.... it sounded quite bizarre but makes me tingly with anticipation that I too could find a possibly useless but fascinating home decor item like that! hahahah. i hope kevin doesn't think we're trying to emasculate him (further) by inviting him to come with us. heeheeee... Craft Show with Metro Man! stay tuned, same Metro time, same Metro blog for updates =)
3. Does anyone have any suggestions for a softball team name/logo? We're fielding a Seniors team this year! (The Juniors are called the Judges)
4. Running Room clinic starts in exactly one week...aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!
5. Happy Birthday MYM you old fogey, let's eat!
6. after failing to ask LinWay (hi!) to bring me j-dramas, i may have found another toronto-bound source to satisfy my cheesy j-drama romance quota! Onegai!
Sunday, March 20, 2005
live life live
at the last minute (well, not really, like 4 hours before) i opted out of camp reunion and went to the Kiyoshi Nagata Ensemble and GaPa concert. I'm so glad i went, for a number of reasons. firstly, when did UTSC become so spiffy?? When I played vball there a few years ago, i remember it being a homely looking campus, with dingy lockers painted in that depressing 70s colour scheme lit by flickering fluorescent lights. It's now been transformed into a sleek and glassy set of buildings including a comfy theatre and brightly lit student centre. nice job UT. It still feels like a high school, but like, way nicer man. totally.
Secondly, at the concert, i ran into the most random assortment of acquaintances: Gideon from Tomo's concert, Terasawa-san and Kishibe-sensei. so random!! i luv it!
Finally, the music. Nothing beats seeing live music. I quietly delighted in watching and recognizing those first tentative moments before the first notes are played, when the audience and players feel each other out, eyes squinting in the sudden burst of light and heat, both sides gauging the vibe of the other, the air prickling with anticipation. loooove it. GaPa opened first (Ga is from Ganesh, Pa from Patrick). I wasn't quite sure what to expect-some kind of neo-Asian percussive music? whatever that means. It turns out GaPa aims to create neo-Asian percussive music, by combining traditional instruments in less formalized structures (i.e. taking instruments out of their religious/ceremonial functions). They used mostly small drums shaped like chinese steamers, a cool Arabian tambourine, a small acoustic instrument that sounded like a didjeridu but looked like the size of a harmonica, all played with virtuoustic finger technique. I had the good fortune to be sitting behind an older member of academia (i'm guessing this since he seemed to know lots of the "reserved seating" people) and his mother. They loooved GaPa, bopping their heads and shaking their shoulders to every note that punctured the air. it was so cute =) i think it was about the second or third piece which was a collaboration with the taiko drummers and GaPa that the pair seemed to be on the edge of a Dionysian outburst-their bodies twisting and lifting in delight.
And then there was the taiko. i was pretty excited to see them play, as it was my first encounter with taiko since japan and wanted to see if my reaction to it had changed. the 5 members of the Nagata ensemble strode out in their purple happi coats near the tail end of GaPa's second piece and took their places in the centre of the stage. they began singing an old-folk song which was beautiful...just the strength of the woman's solo being supported during the chorus by the rest of the members. rice fields and blue skies. i was feeling a bit shaky near the end of it-like my heart felt very full- and then they started drumming. within the first six or seven beats my heart just... broke or something and i started crying. ever since i was a kid, listening to taiko at the bazaars and matsuris at the old JCCC, standing on that old parquet floor and feeling the drum beats shuddering within my body, taiko has always moved me for some inexplicable reason. but this time i think hearing the drumming again reminded me of osaka and all of my memories tied up with that place, including how it felt to create music and just the joy of that process.
God, I miss... a lot of things, including taiko. But unfortunately taking it up again is not an option right now. In the meantime, it's up to me to find the time to create and give my time to others. Sigh. What to do.
I did manage to stop crying though =) phew. And their guest was a guy with a hurdy-gurdy, which basically sounds like a mix between bagpipes and a violin. The effect alternates from unnerving (think nails on blackboard) to soothing (think Enya). All in all, it was a good night.
at the last minute (well, not really, like 4 hours before) i opted out of camp reunion and went to the Kiyoshi Nagata Ensemble and GaPa concert. I'm so glad i went, for a number of reasons. firstly, when did UTSC become so spiffy?? When I played vball there a few years ago, i remember it being a homely looking campus, with dingy lockers painted in that depressing 70s colour scheme lit by flickering fluorescent lights. It's now been transformed into a sleek and glassy set of buildings including a comfy theatre and brightly lit student centre. nice job UT. It still feels like a high school, but like, way nicer man. totally.
Secondly, at the concert, i ran into the most random assortment of acquaintances: Gideon from Tomo's concert, Terasawa-san and Kishibe-sensei. so random!! i luv it!
Finally, the music. Nothing beats seeing live music. I quietly delighted in watching and recognizing those first tentative moments before the first notes are played, when the audience and players feel each other out, eyes squinting in the sudden burst of light and heat, both sides gauging the vibe of the other, the air prickling with anticipation. loooove it. GaPa opened first (Ga is from Ganesh, Pa from Patrick). I wasn't quite sure what to expect-some kind of neo-Asian percussive music? whatever that means. It turns out GaPa aims to create neo-Asian percussive music, by combining traditional instruments in less formalized structures (i.e. taking instruments out of their religious/ceremonial functions). They used mostly small drums shaped like chinese steamers, a cool Arabian tambourine, a small acoustic instrument that sounded like a didjeridu but looked like the size of a harmonica, all played with virtuoustic finger technique. I had the good fortune to be sitting behind an older member of academia (i'm guessing this since he seemed to know lots of the "reserved seating" people) and his mother. They loooved GaPa, bopping their heads and shaking their shoulders to every note that punctured the air. it was so cute =) i think it was about the second or third piece which was a collaboration with the taiko drummers and GaPa that the pair seemed to be on the edge of a Dionysian outburst-their bodies twisting and lifting in delight.
And then there was the taiko. i was pretty excited to see them play, as it was my first encounter with taiko since japan and wanted to see if my reaction to it had changed. the 5 members of the Nagata ensemble strode out in their purple happi coats near the tail end of GaPa's second piece and took their places in the centre of the stage. they began singing an old-folk song which was beautiful...just the strength of the woman's solo being supported during the chorus by the rest of the members. rice fields and blue skies. i was feeling a bit shaky near the end of it-like my heart felt very full- and then they started drumming. within the first six or seven beats my heart just... broke or something and i started crying. ever since i was a kid, listening to taiko at the bazaars and matsuris at the old JCCC, standing on that old parquet floor and feeling the drum beats shuddering within my body, taiko has always moved me for some inexplicable reason. but this time i think hearing the drumming again reminded me of osaka and all of my memories tied up with that place, including how it felt to create music and just the joy of that process.
God, I miss... a lot of things, including taiko. But unfortunately taking it up again is not an option right now. In the meantime, it's up to me to find the time to create and give my time to others. Sigh. What to do.
I did manage to stop crying though =) phew. And their guest was a guy with a hurdy-gurdy, which basically sounds like a mix between bagpipes and a violin. The effect alternates from unnerving (think nails on blackboard) to soothing (think Enya). All in all, it was a good night.
Step Right Up!
Dear Ladies and Gents,
In this limited time offer, I will be offering you a chance to be part of a FANTASTIC and DYNAMIC voice mail community! Every day, or sporadically, I will send you a message containing excerpts from whatever masterful manuscript I am currently proofing. Just think, you, YES, you!!! Could be on the receiving end of messages containing such gems as these:
"The person standing in front of her was definitely Tom, yes, but this was some Tom. This was Tom with a twist, Tom with a capital T for Totally hot."
"Couldn't he tell she was stressed to the max?"
Not convinced? Try this one on for size!
'Jo, you've missed your calling. You should drop accountancy and take up law. I feel like I"m being cross-examined.'
'And I feel like a mushroom.'
'A what?'
"Someone who's deliberately kept in the dark.'
I can tell you’re itching to send me your info, but hold on folks! It gets better!!
This service is available to you at a cost of…
NOTHING!!*
That’s right! It’s freeeeeee!! So drop that checkbook and just let the good times roll! Don’t miss out on the hilarity and groan-worthy moments that all of your friends will be enjoying-sign up NOW!!
*i'm serious! it’s really free!!
Dear Ladies and Gents,
In this limited time offer, I will be offering you a chance to be part of a FANTASTIC and DYNAMIC voice mail community! Every day, or sporadically, I will send you a message containing excerpts from whatever masterful manuscript I am currently proofing. Just think, you, YES, you!!! Could be on the receiving end of messages containing such gems as these:
"The person standing in front of her was definitely Tom, yes, but this was some Tom. This was Tom with a twist, Tom with a capital T for Totally hot."
"Couldn't he tell she was stressed to the max?"
Not convinced? Try this one on for size!
'Jo, you've missed your calling. You should drop accountancy and take up law. I feel like I"m being cross-examined.'
'And I feel like a mushroom.'
'A what?'
"Someone who's deliberately kept in the dark.'
I can tell you’re itching to send me your info, but hold on folks! It gets better!!
This service is available to you at a cost of…
NOTHING!!*
That’s right! It’s freeeeeee!! So drop that checkbook and just let the good times roll! Don’t miss out on the hilarity and groan-worthy moments that all of your friends will be enjoying-sign up NOW!!
*i'm serious! it’s really free!!
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
dare you to move
"14Dear friends, do you think you'll get anywhere in this if you learn all the right words but never do anything? Does merely talking about faith indicate that a person really has it? 15For instance, you come upon an old friend dressed in rags and half-starved 16and say, "Good morning, friend! Be clothed in Christ! Be filled with the Holy Spirit!" and walk off without providing so much as a coat or a cup of soup--where does that get you? 17Isn't it obvious that God-talk without God-acts is outrageous nonsense?
18I can already hear one of you agreeing by saying, "Sounds good. You take care of the faith department, I'll handle the works department."
Not so fast. You can no more show me your works apart from your faith than I can show you my faith apart from my works. Faith and works, works and faith, fit together hand in glove."
James 2: 14-18, Message translation
"14Dear friends, do you think you'll get anywhere in this if you learn all the right words but never do anything? Does merely talking about faith indicate that a person really has it? 15For instance, you come upon an old friend dressed in rags and half-starved 16and say, "Good morning, friend! Be clothed in Christ! Be filled with the Holy Spirit!" and walk off without providing so much as a coat or a cup of soup--where does that get you? 17Isn't it obvious that God-talk without God-acts is outrageous nonsense?
18I can already hear one of you agreeing by saying, "Sounds good. You take care of the faith department, I'll handle the works department."
Not so fast. You can no more show me your works apart from your faith than I can show you my faith apart from my works. Faith and works, works and faith, fit together hand in glove."
James 2: 14-18, Message translation
Monday, March 14, 2005
Monday, March 07, 2005
and then there were none
the popcorn machines have been silenced. the tables have been put away. the signs have been taken down. the pinatas have been smashed. the storage room has been closed. the lights have been turned off. the projectile mentos that hit the Habitat for Humanity representative in the forehead has been eaten.
OTSUKARE!!!
Ministry Fair and Missions Fair is OVER!! michelle, i can't believe the tyndale lady akchually said she liked the fair! cool. cheers to never setting foot in the JCCC on a saturday night for a long long time. oh wait... do the celebration sunday people need help for set-up? sigh.
reason #2 as to why i think it'll take me a while to get used to harlequin books
or
my eyes! my eyes!!
-this morning i came across this passage:
"He looked over at her with burning eyes. Something happened, deep, deep in her belly..."
my first reaction was, "what, gas??"
.
.
.
.
.
.
(btw, it wasn't gas. the lady was just feeling quite lusty.)
the popcorn machines have been silenced. the tables have been put away. the signs have been taken down. the pinatas have been smashed. the storage room has been closed. the lights have been turned off. the projectile mentos that hit the Habitat for Humanity representative in the forehead has been eaten.
OTSUKARE!!!
Ministry Fair and Missions Fair is OVER!! michelle, i can't believe the tyndale lady akchually said she liked the fair! cool. cheers to never setting foot in the JCCC on a saturday night for a long long time. oh wait... do the celebration sunday people need help for set-up? sigh.
reason #2 as to why i think it'll take me a while to get used to harlequin books
or
my eyes! my eyes!!
-this morning i came across this passage:
"He looked over at her with burning eyes. Something happened, deep, deep in her belly..."
my first reaction was, "what, gas??"
.
.
.
.
.
.
(btw, it wasn't gas. the lady was just feeling quite lusty.)
Saturday, March 05, 2005
georgia on my mind
Atlanta. The dirty South. Home to Ludacris, Martin Luther King Jr, CNN, and fried chicken. The infamous host city of the Summer Olympics, still boasts a wealth of tourist spots, and hums along on a solid history of birthing bluegrass and jazz greats. and now, ATL can proudly add to its must-see attractions, the soon-to-be (well, not really) minted Ph.D in bioengineering, Mr KS aka the King of Bollywood Georgia Tech.
The hearts of the bioengineering world are a-flutter! imagine, a real life member of Bollywood royalty in our midst!
And it was for exactly that thrilling experience of visiting Atlanta and being able to observe Mr Bollywood himself in his newly adopted habitat that Kathy and I ventured into the deep South. "Area codes!"
After a really poorly executed surprise on my part, I arrived in Atlanta, groggy from the small amount of sleep acquired the week before, but excited to set foot in the warm spring weather that awaited me in ATL. goodbye snowstorm, hello skirt weather! I took the MARTA (which is unfortunately, not a large Slavic stagecoach but the ATL transit system) to Midtown station on the advice of a friendly Georgian and four very terse text messages from Kartik, and stepped out into...
rain and cold winds.
WHAT????????
Apparently the weather network lies. note to self: check barometric pressure and the advection variances yourSELF using the tin can and eyedropper left in the backyard. hmph.
kathy and i quickly tag-teamed and happily discovered the softer side of kartik through various experiments. We present you with some of your findings:
hypothesis: if alpha male A is coerced into injesting cute foodstuffs, said alpha male will be more inclined to reveal latent metrosexual behaviour.
materials:
1. alpha male of Bollywood Georgia Tech (BGT)
2. calamari wrapped in adorable napkin packet
3. retail outlets
observations:
1. alpha male BGT showed initial signs of reluctance, but was soon open to injestion of Cute Foodstuff sample 1. In this trial, calamari wrapped in a napkin packet was used as the bait.
Please observe the metal ornamentation already present on alpha male BGT's right pinky finger which is obviously a sign of prediliction towards metrosexuality.
2. after further trials, the most significant behaviour occurred off-site at an outlet mall. However, this reaction is quite extreme, and thus is an outlier and cannot be considered in the final conclusions. Please avert your eyes if needed, as the iridescence of the chosen fabric is quite shocking:
Conclusions and applications:
further tests need to be conducted, preferably at a higher intensity and the alpha male must be confined to a certain area for observation. However, it is safe to say that alpha male BGT has most definitely shown evidence of latent metrosexual tendencies, as evidenced by his fashion, houseware and eating habits.
the top of the Westin, or better known as the ghetto 360 restaurant
and what would be a travel log without pics of food? french toast from The Flying Biscuit, which had amaaaaazing cranberry apple butter and biscuits. yum!
and guess what this is? uh-HUH! GRITS Y'ALL!!! woohooooooooo! they were really weird! but i ate 'em!! and we also ordered fried green tomatoes the next day, but those were disappointing.
Stone Mountain! gosh guys, it looks really nice from AFAR. geeeeeez!
kathy and i cooked for mr bollywood and his friends tuesday night. so while we were shopping we came across Grapples. We shrieked in delight, thinking we had found possibly one of the greatest products to come out of genetic engineering. However to our utter disappointment, Grapples aren't really a hybrid between grapes and apples. The stinks just bathe the apple in grape juice to give it that grape smell. how rude!!!
the palace
this is not a pic from house and home. he really lives here (with 2 cool roomies).
doesn't this sight make you want to start crying like Lucy?
and so being in ATL, one of the main attractions is the world of Coke. if you ever need directions to this place, pls forward all queries to Kathy Tam who will be more than happy to ignore you and shake her fist at imaginary ATL street-naming people instead.
atlanta's driver licensing system is strange. we saw so many cars with what appeared to be handwritten lettering on a standard card of some sort detailing the future date of when their real license plate would be ready. pretty weird eh? but the funniest example of this system was this car. it's hard to read, but that white part is actually a plain old sheet of paper with "Tags applied for " in MARKER. puahahhahah!
where kartik lives
that chair is giving him electric shocks.
the big wall o'math.
so ATL was pretty fun. the trip soundtrack was pretty kicking. It includes the Eagles, Carole King, Damien Rice, Michael Buble, the Bee Gees and Kelly Clarkson. Thanks for having us kartik! and we're glad to see you back in the saddle again =)
Atlanta. The dirty South. Home to Ludacris, Martin Luther King Jr, CNN, and fried chicken. The infamous host city of the Summer Olympics, still boasts a wealth of tourist spots, and hums along on a solid history of birthing bluegrass and jazz greats. and now, ATL can proudly add to its must-see attractions, the soon-to-be (well, not really) minted Ph.D in bioengineering, Mr KS aka the King of Bollywood Georgia Tech.
The hearts of the bioengineering world are a-flutter! imagine, a real life member of Bollywood royalty in our midst!
And it was for exactly that thrilling experience of visiting Atlanta and being able to observe Mr Bollywood himself in his newly adopted habitat that Kathy and I ventured into the deep South. "Area codes!"
After a really poorly executed surprise on my part, I arrived in Atlanta, groggy from the small amount of sleep acquired the week before, but excited to set foot in the warm spring weather that awaited me in ATL. goodbye snowstorm, hello skirt weather! I took the MARTA (which is unfortunately, not a large Slavic stagecoach but the ATL transit system) to Midtown station on the advice of a friendly Georgian and four very terse text messages from Kartik, and stepped out into...
rain and cold winds.
WHAT????????
Apparently the weather network lies. note to self: check barometric pressure and the advection variances yourSELF using the tin can and eyedropper left in the backyard. hmph.
kathy and i quickly tag-teamed and happily discovered the softer side of kartik through various experiments. We present you with some of your findings:
hypothesis: if alpha male A is coerced into injesting cute foodstuffs, said alpha male will be more inclined to reveal latent metrosexual behaviour.
materials:
1. alpha male of Bollywood Georgia Tech (BGT)
2. calamari wrapped in adorable napkin packet
3. retail outlets
observations:
1. alpha male BGT showed initial signs of reluctance, but was soon open to injestion of Cute Foodstuff sample 1. In this trial, calamari wrapped in a napkin packet was used as the bait.
Please observe the metal ornamentation already present on alpha male BGT's right pinky finger which is obviously a sign of prediliction towards metrosexuality.
2. after further trials, the most significant behaviour occurred off-site at an outlet mall. However, this reaction is quite extreme, and thus is an outlier and cannot be considered in the final conclusions. Please avert your eyes if needed, as the iridescence of the chosen fabric is quite shocking:
Conclusions and applications:
further tests need to be conducted, preferably at a higher intensity and the alpha male must be confined to a certain area for observation. However, it is safe to say that alpha male BGT has most definitely shown evidence of latent metrosexual tendencies, as evidenced by his fashion, houseware and eating habits.
the top of the Westin, or better known as the ghetto 360 restaurant
and what would be a travel log without pics of food? french toast from The Flying Biscuit, which had amaaaaazing cranberry apple butter and biscuits. yum!
and guess what this is? uh-HUH! GRITS Y'ALL!!! woohooooooooo! they were really weird! but i ate 'em!! and we also ordered fried green tomatoes the next day, but those were disappointing.
Stone Mountain! gosh guys, it looks really nice from AFAR. geeeeeez!
kathy and i cooked for mr bollywood and his friends tuesday night. so while we were shopping we came across Grapples. We shrieked in delight, thinking we had found possibly one of the greatest products to come out of genetic engineering. However to our utter disappointment, Grapples aren't really a hybrid between grapes and apples. The stinks just bathe the apple in grape juice to give it that grape smell. how rude!!!
the palace
this is not a pic from house and home. he really lives here (with 2 cool roomies).
doesn't this sight make you want to start crying like Lucy?
and so being in ATL, one of the main attractions is the world of Coke. if you ever need directions to this place, pls forward all queries to Kathy Tam who will be more than happy to ignore you and shake her fist at imaginary ATL street-naming people instead.
atlanta's driver licensing system is strange. we saw so many cars with what appeared to be handwritten lettering on a standard card of some sort detailing the future date of when their real license plate would be ready. pretty weird eh? but the funniest example of this system was this car. it's hard to read, but that white part is actually a plain old sheet of paper with "Tags applied for " in MARKER. puahahhahah!
where kartik lives
that chair is giving him electric shocks.
the big wall o'math.
so ATL was pretty fun. the trip soundtrack was pretty kicking. It includes the Eagles, Carole King, Damien Rice, Michael Buble, the Bee Gees and Kelly Clarkson. Thanks for having us kartik! and we're glad to see you back in the saddle again =)
