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Sunday, December 16, 2007
all snowed in
it's days like this where you just want to stay warm and introspective.
alicia keys || prelude to a kiss
Sometimes I feel
Like I don’t belong anywhere
And it’s gonna take so long
For me to get somewhere
Sometimes I feel
So heavy-hearted
But I can’t explain
Cuz I’m so guarded
But that’s a lonely road to travel
And a heavy load to bear
And it’s a long, long way to heaven
But I gotta get there
Can you send an angel?
Can you send me an angel?
To guide me
Last night was another UHS gathering in honour of a prodigal son's return to Toronto, and even though I looked forward to it, I was, yet again, nervous. For years I've tried to figure it out, but I can't seem to understand why there's always a part of me that always feels so lost when I'm with all of them. Maybe because I'm trying to navigate without being buoyed by the same markers—I'm not sure.
Late into the night, however, one quietly astounding moment occurred, which gave me a great measure of peace. I was sitting off to the side in one of the booths, and everyone save Kartik was gathered around another table. As I watched everyone, spotlights of soft yellow light fell onto their faces, and the scene was set to a soundtrack of mid-nineties songs, which amplified secret vestiges of high-school nostalgia. As cheesy as it sounds...it was a truly lovely scene, just to see the laughter and strength of genuine friendships that have endured time and separation, and the "new" faces of spouses that have become folded into the mix.
I wanted to tell someone right then of how I felt because I was so moved, to find another witness, but I struggled with my wording. "Beautiful" felt like the only word that could truly encompass the moment, but I hesitated using it because I thought it sounded too artful. I said it anyway, and as the word disappeared into the darkness, it felt right. Sometimes things really are just beautiful.
And it felt appropriate that I finally gained a true appreciation for this group of friends as I sat off to the side. I think I can finally lift anchor and move on.
it's days like this where you just want to stay warm and introspective.
alicia keys || prelude to a kiss
Sometimes I feel
Like I don’t belong anywhere
And it’s gonna take so long
For me to get somewhere
Sometimes I feel
So heavy-hearted
But I can’t explain
Cuz I’m so guarded
But that’s a lonely road to travel
And a heavy load to bear
And it’s a long, long way to heaven
But I gotta get there
Can you send an angel?
Can you send me an angel?
To guide me
Last night was another UHS gathering in honour of a prodigal son's return to Toronto, and even though I looked forward to it, I was, yet again, nervous. For years I've tried to figure it out, but I can't seem to understand why there's always a part of me that always feels so lost when I'm with all of them. Maybe because I'm trying to navigate without being buoyed by the same markers—I'm not sure.
Late into the night, however, one quietly astounding moment occurred, which gave me a great measure of peace. I was sitting off to the side in one of the booths, and everyone save Kartik was gathered around another table. As I watched everyone, spotlights of soft yellow light fell onto their faces, and the scene was set to a soundtrack of mid-nineties songs, which amplified secret vestiges of high-school nostalgia. As cheesy as it sounds...it was a truly lovely scene, just to see the laughter and strength of genuine friendships that have endured time and separation, and the "new" faces of spouses that have become folded into the mix.
I wanted to tell someone right then of how I felt because I was so moved, to find another witness, but I struggled with my wording. "Beautiful" felt like the only word that could truly encompass the moment, but I hesitated using it because I thought it sounded too artful. I said it anyway, and as the word disappeared into the darkness, it felt right. Sometimes things really are just beautiful.
And it felt appropriate that I finally gained a true appreciation for this group of friends as I sat off to the side. I think I can finally lift anchor and move on.
