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Sunday, March 27, 2005
time flies when you're having fun
or
Metro Man Doesn't Like Costumes
Part III
When we last left our intrepid heroes, they were readying themselves for the battle ahead. However a big question loomed before them: Who were the heartless heavies behind such villainy?
"We need to be prepared for the enemy to be anything and anyone," Metro Man said authoritatively. "Whoever it is... whatever it is... is still here. I can feel it." He pushed back the cuffs of his regularly priced DJ Honda jacket (Metro Man had saved the beloved DJ's life one night in Bangkok) and showed the others his perfectly aligned goosebumps. The others nodded grimly, knowing that Metro Sense was not to be doubted. Many a fashion disaster had been averted due to it. Though try as she might, the Knitting Knave became distracted by an overpowering scent. "Smells good guys... smells like Candy Apples!!" She grinned widely, spotting a large display of suspiciously large yet enticing candy apples.
Metro Man was perturbed. Candy apples...candy apples...there was something unsettling about the overtly eye-catching sweets...The Knitting Knave and The Proofer were about to bite into a particularly delectable chocolate-swirled selection when suddenly Metro Man remembered something! "Stop!" he cried! "Candy apples are the trademark weapons of none other than..." His words trailed off as he spotted a sinister shape out of the corner of his colour-contacted eye.
Of course! It was Pirate! That dastardly high seas confectioner cousin of Captain Jack Sparrow!
The Proofer was frozen with fear, dropping the candy apple to the floor, mouth agape at the memory of the Apple Melee of '83 that took so many apples before their prime. She shuddered remembering the bruising and the decay. She was brought out of her ruminations abruptly as Metro Man whispered sharply, "Something is wrong with the Knitting Knave!"
As the Proofer looked up swiftly, she saw her companero, the Knitting Knave rooted to the ground, regressing to her defense mechanism-imitating famous works of art-which emerged only when she was thoroughly frightened. Metro Man squinted. Oh no...the Knave was doing an impression of... Munsch's "The Scream" This could not be good. Two pairs of eyes swung to the right and their hearts stilled.
Pirate was in cahoots with Hat Man!
Their nerves frayed, the trio regrouped in a corner, wracking their brains for a plan that would best the dastardly duo. How could this be?! Pirate and Hat Man...together! Then, just in the nick of time, a welcome sight floated down in front of the trio...
It was Metroina, Metro Man's personal helper (who was secretly in love with him, but had the unfortunate penchant for mixing sequins and pearls, and thus any possible future with Metro Man was rendered impossible). "Sweet trio, have no fear. The fairy overworld has come to your aid as soon as we heard of what Pirate and Hat Man did to Tortham. The only way you can beat them is to disguise yourselves and slink around like you have never slunk before!" Metroina said emphatically. "Follow me and I shall take you to the creche of costumes." Relieved, the Knitting Knave and The Proofer, turned to follow Metroina. However, Metro Man balked at the idea, certain any further accessorizing would disrupt his current outfit scheme. So he decided to seek out and rescue a damsel in distress and meet up with his sidekicks later.
A superhero's work is never done.
Metroina led Metro Man's sidekicks to the hidden creche. It was quite an overwhelming experience as few mortals ever have the privilege of seeing such a one-of-a-kind place. The entrance to the cavern where the creche was hidden was guarded by fierce creatues that growled and squeaked incessantly.
Then they had to navigate through the treacherous Pathway of Pouf. Many a teenybopper had succummed to the poufy pink distractions with tragic results.
Finally, the cavern opened up, and there lay the creche, fierce costumes glittering despite the dim light, waiting to be used in the battle against Letter stealing. The Knitting Knave and The Proofer rushed the creche, and immediately began trying on costumes. However, their choices did not seem capable in striking fear in a puppy, let alone seasoned villains like Pirate and Hat Man:
What a deathly beautiful bag, but alas, one accessory would not cut it.
this would only be effective against Pirate, leaving the Knave vulnerable to Hat Man.
This would scare both villains, but Metro Man would most definitely veto it due to the colour combination. Something about it the combination evoking arachnid overtones. Desperate to find something, the two pulled on masks from the ancient Disney tribe, hoping they would be effective in scaring their enemies.
The Knitting Knave and the Proofer were disheartened. There was nothing in the creche! The Proofer was especially disappointed as the mask she thought would transform her into a fierce Proofer, ended up making her looking like a 7-year-old boy.
What now?
How could they possibly win after such a let-down?
Stay tuned, same TAATT time, same TAATT blog!
all good things have to come to an end
or
Metro Man Has His Day
Part IV (the last installment!! finally!)
When we last left our heroes, the Knitting Knave and The Proofer had met up with Metroina, a love-struck fairy who tried to outfit the two in proper battle gear, but with little success...
Discouraged by their inability to outfit themselves properly, despite hours of tuition on the Art of Superhero Fashion by Metro Man, the Knitting Knave and The Proofer were understandably upset. Once again, Metroina came to their rescue. She quickly sprinkled them with B.L.E.S.S.E.D (Boom! Look Everyone Suspects Something Else Dere) powder, and gave them a pinch extra for Metro Man. This powder would enable the wearer to appear as any object they wished to imitate. Grateful, the two ran from the creche and met up with Metro Man, who looked like he had managed to slip in a quick bronzing after rescuing his damsel. Oh Metro Man, you are indeed a wonder!
The TAATT decided to scour the premises for the beloved Letter, careful to avoid Pirate and Hat Man, and whatever other nasty surprises were in store for them. Our trio slinked and slunked expertly, careful to avoid the booby traps Pirate and Hat Man so cleverly set out for them.
Ducking into a forest of mangroves, TAATT was able to avoid the dull stare of Hat Man's Model mercenaries. If one had the unfortunate luck to lock eyes with the mercenaries, they would instantly be transformed into long-legged plastic statues. Despite the cover found in the mangroves, TAATT had to fend off several species of wildlife while in there, including the rumoured-to-be-extinct pot-bellied Ottoman Pig, a vicious breed of cochon who were first used as guard pigs during the Ottoman Empire.
Suddenly, Metro Man stopped in his tracks. His heart swelled with joy. High above them, hung the missing Letter!!
The Knitting Knave nearly shouted in joy, and The Proofer hopped in circles happily. But Metro Man arched a neatly plucked eyebrow. Finding the Letter was too easy... something was up. Aha! Metro Man spotted Pirate nearby, and knew if they weren't careful, it could be the beginning of an epic battle.
Unselfishly, the Knitting Knave and The Proofer transformed themselves into pirates which allowed Metro Man to slink by unnoticed.
Metro Man now had a better vantage point from which to plot out the exact path to their beloved Letter. The trio were about to begin slinking by when Metro Man spotted Pirate approaching! Thinking quickly, he commanded everyone to make like ice sculptures and freeze.
It worked! Pirate walked by them, oblivious that his dastardly plot to wreak havoc on Tortham would be foiled in a matter of minutes. From that point on, it was clear sailing. The three jumped into the churning Dawn River and swam to the north shore where the Letter was waiting...
Throwing themselves on the sandy bank, they struggled to summon up one more ounce of strength...so close... Unfortunately, the Knitting Knave and Proofer's reserves were quite depleted, and both passed out. It was up to Metro Man. It was moments like these that separated the super from the not-so-super, and like any superhero would, Metro Man rose to the challenge. Gritting his teeth, Metro Man began reaching high high high above himself, feeling like body and spirit were finally one...his hands drawing closer and closer to the Letter...would he be the one to save Tortham??
*****
The Knitting Knave and the Proofer awoke several hours later, and their eyes opened to a glorious sight. Beaming down, properly exfoliated cheeks glowing with triumph, was their leader, Metro Man....and the Letter!!!
The Knitting Knave and the Proofer turned to each other and smiled. They should've known. A mission with Metro Man is a mission complete. The trio linked arms and walked out of the cavern into a glorious sunset. Tortham would never know how close it was to complete anarchy-all in a day's work for The Tremendously Above-Average Torthamian Trio!!!
The End
*hopefullynometrosexualegosweredamagedintheprocess.kevyou'refun!*
or
Metro Man Doesn't Like Costumes
Part III
When we last left our intrepid heroes, they were readying themselves for the battle ahead. However a big question loomed before them: Who were the heartless heavies behind such villainy?
"We need to be prepared for the enemy to be anything and anyone," Metro Man said authoritatively. "Whoever it is... whatever it is... is still here. I can feel it." He pushed back the cuffs of his regularly priced DJ Honda jacket (Metro Man had saved the beloved DJ's life one night in Bangkok) and showed the others his perfectly aligned goosebumps. The others nodded grimly, knowing that Metro Sense was not to be doubted. Many a fashion disaster had been averted due to it. Though try as she might, the Knitting Knave became distracted by an overpowering scent. "Smells good guys... smells like Candy Apples!!" She grinned widely, spotting a large display of suspiciously large yet enticing candy apples.
Metro Man was perturbed. Candy apples...candy apples...there was something unsettling about the overtly eye-catching sweets...The Knitting Knave and The Proofer were about to bite into a particularly delectable chocolate-swirled selection when suddenly Metro Man remembered something! "Stop!" he cried! "Candy apples are the trademark weapons of none other than..." His words trailed off as he spotted a sinister shape out of the corner of his colour-contacted eye.
Of course! It was Pirate! That dastardly high seas confectioner cousin of Captain Jack Sparrow!
The Proofer was frozen with fear, dropping the candy apple to the floor, mouth agape at the memory of the Apple Melee of '83 that took so many apples before their prime. She shuddered remembering the bruising and the decay. She was brought out of her ruminations abruptly as Metro Man whispered sharply, "Something is wrong with the Knitting Knave!"
As the Proofer looked up swiftly, she saw her companero, the Knitting Knave rooted to the ground, regressing to her defense mechanism-imitating famous works of art-which emerged only when she was thoroughly frightened. Metro Man squinted. Oh no...the Knave was doing an impression of... Munsch's "The Scream" This could not be good. Two pairs of eyes swung to the right and their hearts stilled.
Pirate was in cahoots with Hat Man!
Their nerves frayed, the trio regrouped in a corner, wracking their brains for a plan that would best the dastardly duo. How could this be?! Pirate and Hat Man...together! Then, just in the nick of time, a welcome sight floated down in front of the trio...
It was Metroina, Metro Man's personal helper (who was secretly in love with him, but had the unfortunate penchant for mixing sequins and pearls, and thus any possible future with Metro Man was rendered impossible). "Sweet trio, have no fear. The fairy overworld has come to your aid as soon as we heard of what Pirate and Hat Man did to Tortham. The only way you can beat them is to disguise yourselves and slink around like you have never slunk before!" Metroina said emphatically. "Follow me and I shall take you to the creche of costumes." Relieved, the Knitting Knave and The Proofer, turned to follow Metroina. However, Metro Man balked at the idea, certain any further accessorizing would disrupt his current outfit scheme. So he decided to seek out and rescue a damsel in distress and meet up with his sidekicks later.
A superhero's work is never done.
Metroina led Metro Man's sidekicks to the hidden creche. It was quite an overwhelming experience as few mortals ever have the privilege of seeing such a one-of-a-kind place. The entrance to the cavern where the creche was hidden was guarded by fierce creatues that growled and squeaked incessantly.
Then they had to navigate through the treacherous Pathway of Pouf. Many a teenybopper had succummed to the poufy pink distractions with tragic results.
Finally, the cavern opened up, and there lay the creche, fierce costumes glittering despite the dim light, waiting to be used in the battle against Letter stealing. The Knitting Knave and The Proofer rushed the creche, and immediately began trying on costumes. However, their choices did not seem capable in striking fear in a puppy, let alone seasoned villains like Pirate and Hat Man:
What a deathly beautiful bag, but alas, one accessory would not cut it.
this would only be effective against Pirate, leaving the Knave vulnerable to Hat Man.
This would scare both villains, but Metro Man would most definitely veto it due to the colour combination. Something about it the combination evoking arachnid overtones. Desperate to find something, the two pulled on masks from the ancient Disney tribe, hoping they would be effective in scaring their enemies.
The Knitting Knave and the Proofer were disheartened. There was nothing in the creche! The Proofer was especially disappointed as the mask she thought would transform her into a fierce Proofer, ended up making her looking like a 7-year-old boy.
What now?
How could they possibly win after such a let-down?
Stay tuned, same TAATT time, same TAATT blog!
all good things have to come to an end
or
Metro Man Has His Day
Part IV (the last installment!! finally!)
When we last left our heroes, the Knitting Knave and The Proofer had met up with Metroina, a love-struck fairy who tried to outfit the two in proper battle gear, but with little success...
Discouraged by their inability to outfit themselves properly, despite hours of tuition on the Art of Superhero Fashion by Metro Man, the Knitting Knave and The Proofer were understandably upset. Once again, Metroina came to their rescue. She quickly sprinkled them with B.L.E.S.S.E.D (Boom! Look Everyone Suspects Something Else Dere) powder, and gave them a pinch extra for Metro Man. This powder would enable the wearer to appear as any object they wished to imitate. Grateful, the two ran from the creche and met up with Metro Man, who looked like he had managed to slip in a quick bronzing after rescuing his damsel. Oh Metro Man, you are indeed a wonder!
The TAATT decided to scour the premises for the beloved Letter, careful to avoid Pirate and Hat Man, and whatever other nasty surprises were in store for them. Our trio slinked and slunked expertly, careful to avoid the booby traps Pirate and Hat Man so cleverly set out for them.
Ducking into a forest of mangroves, TAATT was able to avoid the dull stare of Hat Man's Model mercenaries. If one had the unfortunate luck to lock eyes with the mercenaries, they would instantly be transformed into long-legged plastic statues. Despite the cover found in the mangroves, TAATT had to fend off several species of wildlife while in there, including the rumoured-to-be-extinct pot-bellied Ottoman Pig, a vicious breed of cochon who were first used as guard pigs during the Ottoman Empire.
Suddenly, Metro Man stopped in his tracks. His heart swelled with joy. High above them, hung the missing Letter!!
The Knitting Knave nearly shouted in joy, and The Proofer hopped in circles happily. But Metro Man arched a neatly plucked eyebrow. Finding the Letter was too easy... something was up. Aha! Metro Man spotted Pirate nearby, and knew if they weren't careful, it could be the beginning of an epic battle.
Unselfishly, the Knitting Knave and The Proofer transformed themselves into pirates which allowed Metro Man to slink by unnoticed.
Metro Man now had a better vantage point from which to plot out the exact path to their beloved Letter. The trio were about to begin slinking by when Metro Man spotted Pirate approaching! Thinking quickly, he commanded everyone to make like ice sculptures and freeze.
It worked! Pirate walked by them, oblivious that his dastardly plot to wreak havoc on Tortham would be foiled in a matter of minutes. From that point on, it was clear sailing. The three jumped into the churning Dawn River and swam to the north shore where the Letter was waiting...
Throwing themselves on the sandy bank, they struggled to summon up one more ounce of strength...so close... Unfortunately, the Knitting Knave and Proofer's reserves were quite depleted, and both passed out. It was up to Metro Man. It was moments like these that separated the super from the not-so-super, and like any superhero would, Metro Man rose to the challenge. Gritting his teeth, Metro Man began reaching high high high above himself, feeling like body and spirit were finally one...his hands drawing closer and closer to the Letter...would he be the one to save Tortham??
*****
The Knitting Knave and the Proofer awoke several hours later, and their eyes opened to a glorious sight. Beaming down, properly exfoliated cheeks glowing with triumph, was their leader, Metro Man....and the Letter!!!
The Knitting Knave and the Proofer turned to each other and smiled. They should've known. A mission with Metro Man is a mission complete. The trio linked arms and walked out of the cavern into a glorious sunset. Tortham would never know how close it was to complete anarchy-all in a day's work for The Tremendously Above-Average Torthamian Trio!!!
The End
*hopefullynometrosexualegosweredamagedintheprocess.kevyou'refun!*
// posted by naomi @ 10:28 p.m. 
