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Tuesday, April 26, 2005
rage against the machine
the fun thing about work is that i can get reeeeeeeally angry about... romance novels! how fun is that? =)
anyways. so remember the "best and worst" list? "baby of shame" may have won for worst title everrrr but the winner for most insipid novel everrrr definitely has to go to "A Most Suitable Wife"-which is coming to bookstands in the UK this December, lucky buggers! NOT!!!! the best part about this stinking book is not that it is so horribly contrived (the main characters' names are Taye and Magnus *barf*) but that affixed to the copy control sheet was a pleasant little warning that read: Proofreader, please give extra attention to quotation marks. Typesetting noticed some were missing. The operative word here would be some. Always up for a challenge, I picked it up, thinking it to be yet another harmless exercise on the Penta system. WRONG! There weren't a few quotation marks missing... there weren't many quotation marks missing... instead, every instance of spoken dialogue was missing opening quotation marks!!
which meant...
yes, that's right people...
not only did i have to manually insert them all, but it also meant that instead of a surface read, i had to read every single word of the WHOLE. BLOODY. BOOK. as a reward for my efforts, i was subjected to some of the worst euphemisms i've ever read in my entire life.
Pop Quiz!
What is "tiptoed through the tulips" a euphemism for?
And for the cherry on top of thisannoying aggravating heinous experience, i had to read through the entire final exposition-the part where the lovers reveal they were smitten with each other from the start, which is much like the part of the comic where the villan stupidly tells the hero his dastardly plan. only in romance novels, there's an offer of marriage, and in comics, there's an offer of death. unfortunately for me, i was not given the option of death as i had to slog through the most banal exposition known to man-for a horrid EIGHTEEN PAGES!!!!! Stupid Taye kept on interrupting Magnus, since she's so brilliant, always one step ahead of him, which made the exchange DRAG ON AND ON AND ON. bring on the vat of boiling oil stat!!
I was so agitated, I bid on a kate spade organizer on eBay to calm my nerves.
If you have a shred of decency and relatives in the UK, beg them to not buy this book. Tell them to steer CLEAR. FAR AWAY. GO! RUN LIKE THE WIND! AVERT YOUR EYES!!!!
hahah, i luv my job =)))
the fun thing about work is that i can get reeeeeeeally angry about... romance novels! how fun is that? =)
anyways. so remember the "best and worst" list? "baby of shame" may have won for worst title everrrr but the winner for most insipid novel everrrr definitely has to go to "A Most Suitable Wife"-which is coming to bookstands in the UK this December, lucky buggers! NOT!!!! the best part about this stinking book is not that it is so horribly contrived (the main characters' names are Taye and Magnus *barf*) but that affixed to the copy control sheet was a pleasant little warning that read: Proofreader, please give extra attention to quotation marks. Typesetting noticed some were missing. The operative word here would be some. Always up for a challenge, I picked it up, thinking it to be yet another harmless exercise on the Penta system. WRONG! There weren't a few quotation marks missing... there weren't many quotation marks missing... instead, every instance of spoken dialogue was missing opening quotation marks!!
which meant...
yes, that's right people...
not only did i have to manually insert them all, but it also meant that instead of a surface read, i had to read every single word of the WHOLE. BLOODY. BOOK. as a reward for my efforts, i was subjected to some of the worst euphemisms i've ever read in my entire life.
Pop Quiz!
What is "tiptoed through the tulips" a euphemism for?
And for the cherry on top of this
I was so agitated, I bid on a kate spade organizer on eBay to calm my nerves.
If you have a shred of decency and relatives in the UK, beg them to not buy this book. Tell them to steer CLEAR. FAR AWAY. GO! RUN LIKE THE WIND! AVERT YOUR EYES!!!!
hahah, i luv my job =)))
// posted by naomi @ 3:23 p.m. 
Comments:
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oh, oh, is it cunnilingus? that would actually be kind of funny. or perhaps some variation which actually involves toes?
c'est dommage, tu es wrong-o! unfortunately this means you will not be able to advance to the Blazing Hot Lightning round, where your knowledge of contrived romantic situations will be tested! good luck in the future!
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