: notes to self :

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Tuesday, January 27, 2004

boy band jyanai?!

i have come to realize, to my chagrin, that SMAP, is here to stay. they are the ultimate granddaddies of japanese manufactured boy bands, but unlike american/canadian versions, these boys/men really can`t sing... and the funny thing is, they totally don`t try to hide it! it`s hilarious! well, one guy can sing, Kimu Taku and Shingo can sort of sing... but the rest of `em... "my ears are bleeeeeding!!" (hi liz). but despite their lack of musical ability, the guys of SMAP [they`re not boys anymore, in their thirties, but still appeal to hordes and hordes of teenyboppers including my 17yr old cousin (ick)] have done pretty well for themselves i think...mind you, outside of the musical field =)


first there is nakai, the screechy, sometime bug-eyed little man of the group. he`s a pretty funny guy, and he`s appeared in a few tv dramas, hosted kohaku once (badbadmemory), and hosts Utaban on Thursdays. there was one episode of Utaban where his partner had gone off to Paris to film a segment with the creasey-smiley-faced guy i like, and when Nakai saw the footage, he freaked out in a pouty, petulant way... he was supremely bug-eyed that day...sooo funny =) he`s in this drama right now, where he is a famous concert pianist who falls into these deep reveries like EVERY FIVE MINUTES, where he relives the moment where he killed some guy on train tracks with a big rock. and he drives around in his car a lot, usually at sunset. and runs into this one lady a lot. and he doesn`t talk much, but just stares deep penetrating, intense stares... or he is just trying to remember where he left his car keys. i dunno, it`s in Japanese =)


then there`s kusanagi, aka the Korean guy or Mr Cheekbones. he`s not really korean, full japanese, but he always seems to be hanging out in korea, speaking korean, he`s in a dopey but cute commercial for kimchi tsuyu, makes korean dramas/movies... methinks the man has some SEOUL searching to do (hahahhaha... i`m the best). anyways, he still appears in japanese media, and i see him on this one food show, Dotch, and he makes really good "oiishiiiiiiiiii/UMAI!!" faces. he always looks so sad when he sings... or rather when he "sings"


Goro-chan! this man is all about his hair... it`s so crazy. but his hair really is spectacular... right now it`s in this like bird-wing wavy stage... very big and swoopy. his hair often performs gravity-defying feats, aided and abetted by expensive ion-free hair products (he got some for his birthday, which they showed on SMAP Bistro, their weekly show). Goro is the pretty boy of the group I guess, and usually wears a vacant expression... well moreso than the others. when he sings, or rather, when he "sings" he kind of simpers... it`s really annoying. but he`s pretty bearable when he appears on this kid show about supernatural events.. and is kind of funny as the new Super Mario character. You can still see bits of his spectacular hair underneath the big red cap.


shingo. shingo gets no love. not as cute as nakai/goro, not as hot as kimura, not as... korean (??) as kusanagi...which is why i think he is the most earnest in terms of building credibility as a legit entertainer. the man is everywhere. he has his own show about english conversation, which includes a gallery of luvley foreign ladies (shudder), continuous stream of commercials, acting jobs like the period drama on tv now, a successful diet book, appearances on various game shows, and SMAP (he can sorta sing!). my aunt doesn`t really like shingo. you`re a-ok in my books shingo, keep on truckin.


ah, kimura... or affectionately known by the japanese public as Kimu Taku. my cousin loves kimura. women love kimura. guys really like kimura. he`s the only member of SMAP who can actually sing, and he plays the guitar. he has the typical japanese male sense of humour down: witty comments punctuated by protestations and sporadic exclamations starting with "Omae!!" i have to like kimura. i can`t help it. he is currently starring in the tv drama, Pride, which is about a... PROFESSIONAL JAPANESE HOCKEY TEAM, and he plays the team captain, Hula (snicker). kimu taku`s slapshot looks a little shaky, but i can deal with the monosyllabic responses and cheesiness. he IS really likeable, and i understand the frenzied women... =) no one can sell electronic goods like kimu taku =)

smap...if you rearrange the letters, it`s spam. both owe their longevity to a small pacific island nation, conveniently packaged, and appear in many different variations, playing to many different tastes. ah, i`m a sap for boy bands.

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