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Saturday, August 30, 2003
argh
i`m feeling really frustrated right now... as evident by my patronage at the net cafe, at 1am on a saturday/sunday morning. so i didn`t go to the chishima party last night... i text msged sarah, but no answer. anyways i dont really feel bad for not going, because it just seemed like a big ol debauchery (sp?) fest, in a two-room chishima party. it would have been cool to have just stopped in for a tiny bit, and candice and mario seem really nice... but no real regrets. anyways, on my way out to the international house, i was intercepted by mario and i went with him to a dinner thing and to see the JET band perform at the blarney stones. they were pretty good, and i was having fun, and then afterwards i went with some people to cinquecento, for 500 yen martinis. i got a cosmopolitan (which was pretty good), and then i jetted, no pun intended. i made it safely from shinsaibashi to home (rather the net cafe... but close enough haha). i am just bothered by the fact that bonding and `good times` is always centred around getting drunk or pissed, to borrow some JET vernacular. i just don`t get it... and i am really frustrated. why does life work like this? i remember being acutely conscious while i was biking home down sakuragawa that i wish i was part of a couple because it seems a voucher for being, well normal, by my standards. you have an automatic partner to do stuff, and basically an automatic excuse to not partake in drunken stupidness. i can only see my reflection from afar in the cafe window, but i think i look flushed, and my head is pounding a bit.
i guess i`m just not social.
but i took a picture of my cosmo just to send kathy to let her know i wasn`t being loser 24/7 =)
i can`t wait to get settled down in a church, ultimate frisbee and do some volunteering along with my japanese classes and of course work. ugh. i am such a loner. i miss my friends. i`d even go clubbing with mary if it meant she`d come over. sigh.... i guess my honeymoon period with japan is officially over. i miss my friends x infinity.
i don`t have a church to go to tomorrow... but hopefully hope chapel people will email early. that looks like a really cool church... based from hawaii i think.
can i see myself being here for another year?? i think it`s too early to tell... my head hurts. and my heart kind of hurts too.
i need to sleep.
oh i just finished reading banana yoshimoto`s Asleep... it was pretty good... i read it pretty fast, so i need to go back and read it over... ugh, the people across from me sure like their menthols. GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS... aaaaggggggghhhhhhhhhhh so frustrated.
i`m feeling really frustrated right now... as evident by my patronage at the net cafe, at 1am on a saturday/sunday morning. so i didn`t go to the chishima party last night... i text msged sarah, but no answer. anyways i dont really feel bad for not going, because it just seemed like a big ol debauchery (sp?) fest, in a two-room chishima party. it would have been cool to have just stopped in for a tiny bit, and candice and mario seem really nice... but no real regrets. anyways, on my way out to the international house, i was intercepted by mario and i went with him to a dinner thing and to see the JET band perform at the blarney stones. they were pretty good, and i was having fun, and then afterwards i went with some people to cinquecento, for 500 yen martinis. i got a cosmopolitan (which was pretty good), and then i jetted, no pun intended. i made it safely from shinsaibashi to home (rather the net cafe... but close enough haha). i am just bothered by the fact that bonding and `good times` is always centred around getting drunk or pissed, to borrow some JET vernacular. i just don`t get it... and i am really frustrated. why does life work like this? i remember being acutely conscious while i was biking home down sakuragawa that i wish i was part of a couple because it seems a voucher for being, well normal, by my standards. you have an automatic partner to do stuff, and basically an automatic excuse to not partake in drunken stupidness. i can only see my reflection from afar in the cafe window, but i think i look flushed, and my head is pounding a bit.
i guess i`m just not social.
but i took a picture of my cosmo just to send kathy to let her know i wasn`t being loser 24/7 =)
i can`t wait to get settled down in a church, ultimate frisbee and do some volunteering along with my japanese classes and of course work. ugh. i am such a loner. i miss my friends. i`d even go clubbing with mary if it meant she`d come over. sigh.... i guess my honeymoon period with japan is officially over. i miss my friends x infinity.
i don`t have a church to go to tomorrow... but hopefully hope chapel people will email early. that looks like a really cool church... based from hawaii i think.
can i see myself being here for another year?? i think it`s too early to tell... my head hurts. and my heart kind of hurts too.
i need to sleep.
oh i just finished reading banana yoshimoto`s Asleep... it was pretty good... i read it pretty fast, so i need to go back and read it over... ugh, the people across from me sure like their menthols. GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS... aaaaggggggghhhhhhhhhhh so frustrated.
// posted by naomi @ 12:30 p.m. 
